Everyone has a skill

The Broken Road (4/?)

2009-05-25T13:10:43Z

Title: The Broken Road (4/?)

Author: arielmoondance

Rating: M

Characters: L&K

Genre: Romance

Summary: The road to Earth is a journey of the heart.

Spoilers: Everything is fair game.

Word count: 3100

Disclaimer: I have borrowed these characters for my own personal enjoyment. No monetary gain or copyright infringement intended.

Special thanks to my wonderful betas jei_e and samstareagle .

A/N: My sincerest apology to my readers who have waited so very long for me to continue this story. I can honestly say that it has taken me this long to decide what it is that I wanted to say. I had held my breath throughout season 4 and focused all my energy on the hope that the incredible journey of pilots was leading somewhere. I was so completely devastated by the finale that I didn’t think I had the heart to write another word about pilots. Well, I have grieved, moved on and become more determined than ever to give Lee and Kara what they deserve.

Previous chapters here (I know I would have forgotten the story by now too!)

CHAPTER 4: Revolution

oOoOoOoOoOo

Lee nodded to the marines standing guard and knocked on the hatch of Galactica’s guest quarters. After a moment, Romo Lampkin peeked around the side of the heavy door.

“Watch out for Lance.” Lee carefully made his way in and secured the door. When he turned back to face Romo there was a curious look on the other man’s face.

“You look like you could use a drink,” He said starring at the place his rank pin should have been.

“What I need, is a suit,” Lee said dryly.

“Care to tell me what happened?” Romo asked in the tone Lee had already come to realize was his way of asking a question he already knew the answer to even when he couldn’t have.

“I resigned.”

“The admiral is not real happy with you is he”

Lee looked down at his feet, suppressing an annoyed frown with the light already glinting behind Romo’s shades “No, I’m not real happy with him either.”

“Well, Mister Adama, I know just the person to see about a new wardrobe.” He replied, barely hiding an accomplished smile “He might even throw in some free sunglasses.”

oOoOoOoOoOo

Lee walked into the mess to find Kara playing with her food by herself off in the far corner.

“Hey.” He smiled, grinning at the way she was amusing herself by swirling her spoon into the center to stand on end then watching how long it took to overcome the viscosity of the green-gray mash to fall over on its side.

“He-.” She barely got out before he swooped in for a quick kiss.

“Oh, what’s for dinner?”

“Mystery algae. The mystery being what it’s supposed to be imitating“ Kara grinned. Lee chuckled as she gave him a sample.

“I don’t even know how to describe that.” He looked away for a moment in order to shift gears. No one nearby seemed to be taking any interest in them. “I only have a few minutes before I have to get back to babysitting.”

“Enough time to tell me why you are out of uniform?” Kara asked. Lee unconsciously placed his hand where his pin should have been.

He lowered his head to keep his voice from carrying. “He questioned my integrity. Mine. After he admitted Baltar didn’t deserve a trial that he just happens to be a judge for. I don’t know how to get through to him. So I pulled a Starbuck.”

Her eyes went wide for a second as her lips curled to a smirk. “Sounds to me like you need to vent. We could meet in the gym later or….”

That got a full smile from him. “Actually, I’m ok. I wore it for the wrong reasons, at least in the beginning. Would never have admitted it at the time, but I did it to prove something to myself... and to him. This trial may have been the trigger, but I've felt this coming for a long time. I need to move on.”

“I couldn’t be more proud of you Lee” Kara cooed in a way that only made Lee feel unsure of himself once more.

“Really? I was afraid you were going to kick my ass all the way back to the admiral and have me beg forgiveness...”

“You stood up for what you believed in” she replied flatly “You’re your own man now Lee. The child steps out from the shadow of his parent.”

He reached out to stroke her cheek. Looking past the sincere smile and ease he heard in her voice he saw the darkness in her eyes. “So enough with my pity parade, how are you holding up?”

She shrugged, unwilling to ruin the mood. Wishing she could push aside her worries and not let him see it, she placed her hand over his. He didn’t buy it as evidenced by the concern in his voice.

“I promise when the trial is over, we can spend more time together. We’ll figure this out.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“I have to go. Prosecution is calling Laura as the next witness. Lampkin is looking for an angle.” He kissed her again, slowly dragging the pad of his thumb across her lips as he withdrew his hand.

oOoOoOoOoOo

After fidgeting, shifting and staring at the bunk above hers for an hour Kara flung the sheets back and sat up. She glanced at the pill bottle on the shelf and contemplated the medication that could possibly help her sleep. She hated taking pills.

Cottle had been even more than his usual brand of smoke-tinted-vague as to what exactly they were for but he seemed to think her violent head aches were part of a psychotic episode. So, could be sedatives or antipsychotics, antidepressant? All of the above? Special Kara Thrace formula?

She started a list in her mind: Suicidal tendencies? Questionable. Post traumatic stress disorder? Quite possible. Chronic migraines? Check. Special destiny? And then some.

Not one of these things was going to help get her back in the cockpit anytime soon. Not that she was all that itchy to do so but she knew she ought to be.

She also should feel guilty for not pulling her weight and earning her keep but thinking about the extra time she had been able to spend with Lee, when he was not working with Romo Lampkin, brought a devilish smile to her face.

Now that the trial had begun, though, he had been busy. Kara had overheard some of Tigh’s shocking testimony that day over the wireless. With the President taking the stand tomorrow, it was sure to be a big day as well. Consequently, Lee was sleeping in his quarters alone so that he could get a good night’s sleep. Unfortunately curling up with him would be even less conducive for sleep than what she was doing already.

And that was another thing. The entire fleet was wrapped up in the trial and most conversation was centered on it. Kara, however, was more and more aware of the steady progress they made towards the nebula. With each FTL jump was causing her increasing amounts of pain, she was convinced that something needed to be done.

One day she hoped she could question the divinity that thought it was a great idea to tell someone that they had this incredible thing to do without giving them even the slightest clue how to do it.

Give her a target to shoot at, and enemy in her sights and she was your girl. Prophesies open to interpretation and vague statements on the other hand were for the likes of Baltar and Roslin.

Inside the clear glass container, the harmless-looking white pills promised escape. If only it were that easy. With a determined shake of her head, she jumped from her bed, quickly dressed, and strapped the double gun holster to her hips.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Lee heard a commotion out in the corridor, heavy boots double timing in the direction of the Admiral’s quarters. He hastily donned some sweats and got outside in time to hear orders to secure the area.

It was fairly common knowledge that the President had been spending time on Galactica and staying with his father so when he saw that it was a marine detachment he became increasingly alarmed. He thought he heard Kara screaming as he rounded the corner and began to charge down the hallway, jolted to a stop by Colonel Tigh grabbing him round the arm.

“This is a military matter Mr. Adama!” Tigh put heavy emphasis on the mister and sneered very close to Lee’s face.

“What the frak is going on?!” Lee spat as he jerked his arm from the older man.

“That girlfriend of yours has really done it this time. Waved a loaded gun in the President’s face, then the crazy bitch hands her the gun. Good thing Roslin has lousy aim or we’d be hauling Starbuck out of here in a body bag.”

His father appeared at the hatchway and Lee was briefly met by his very angry eyes for the second time that day. He fought back an apology that would likely have been rebuffed anyway, as the old man carefully escorted the President in the direction of life station.

He inclined his head back to the XO “Where are they taking Starbuck?”

“To the brig to cool her heels…same as where you should be for what you pulled on your father.”

Lee bristled at the words but decided that right now, Tigh probably had more than enough motivations and marines for him to loose his shit if given the opportunity.

“How’s Roslin?” Lee asked with genuine worry.

“Shaken up more than anything. Don’t worry I’m sure she’ll be 100 percent when she condemns that little weasel.” Tigh spat out as he rounded up the marines and strode out of the room.

Lee watched them go while fighting back the urge to set the record straight with Tigh. Not the time he told himself, simultaneously resisting the desire to follow Kara to the brig. As much as the man pushed his buttons he knew that Tigh was probably right about Kara needing to calm down right about now and he knew it would probably be a few hours before he would be allowed to see her. That left him with one other option. He stalked past the guard at the door and stepped into his father’s quarters to look around.

What was Kara thinking? A picture behind the desk of the Admiral and the President was cracked with bullet hole squarely between them. He turned to where he assumed Laura had stood when she fired the gun. There, by the couch he noticed a suitcase on the floor. Various bottles of pills and a tall mug with cooling contents were on the end table. He stared at them for a few moments before picking the mug up and sniffing it as he looked at the book that had fallen to the floor. Blind instinct pulled him back from the extremely bitter fumes still wafting from whatever had last filled the mug. Is that Chamala? he wondered.

He could not summon the emotion to be mad at Kara for not confiding her plan to him when he himself had acted rashly in the heat of the moment. That very day he himself stood up to his father and turned in his wings when his integrity was questioned. Kara had come here to confront Laura Roslin because she believed in what she was doing. He had to respect that.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

“Nice suit.” Kara grinned hungrily at Lee as he walked into the brig.

“You think so? I think it belonged to a funeral director.”

“Defense counsel has never looked so good. Might have to hire you to defend me when you’re done with Baltar.”

A burley marine opened the door to the cell and closed it after Lee stepped inside. Lee looked the man in the eye and tilted his head in the direction of the hatch. The other man responded with a nod. He may have resigned from the military but he still was still held in high esteem by those he had fought beside. The outer hatch clanged closed and the wheel spun from the outside giving them some privacy.

Kara climbed up off the floor to greet him but was suddenly aware that he was moving forward in an aggressive manner. He took a hold of her shoulders and pushed her against the wall, making her gasp in shock. A pair of intense blue eyes bored into hers and she held her breathe as she tried to figure out how the light banter had lead to this. She was suddenly afraid that maybe this time she had gone too far and lost his trust. She waited for him to explode.

“Stop doing that. Stop putting yourself in harm’s way like that!” He spat in her face. There was a time, not that long ago where she would have gone toe to toe with him…even relished it. Thrived on it even. But not anymore. The need to fight with him was gone, she needed to focus on finding Earth, and she needed his help.

He seemed to read this in her face because his features softened and the veins in his forehead started to disappear. Strong hands went to the sides of her face and he smoothed his thumb over her cheek bones. Tears began to well in his eyes and his voice dropped to a whisper. “Next time we go in together, ok?”

His forehead met hers and she closed her eyes to allow her other senses to take over. He pulled her away from the wall, fully against him and his arms became like a blanket coming around her.

“Ok” she replied and she knew this time that she meant it. She would stop testing and pushing him. For too long she thought she could never really be happy but this was a lie. She deserved this. This man knew all her faults and sins and yet he was standing by her like no one else. And he was far from perfect either. The imperfect soldier, the imperfect son but so perfect for her. Two frak ups standing in the brig.

A smile stretched her lips and she hungrily flicked her tongue out over them. His wasted no time replying to her invitation and he all but sucked the air out of her lungs with his desperate kiss. Very practiced hands had her out of her BDU’s in fleet record time. She took a moment to consider the buttons on his second hand but still very nice shirt. Part of her wanted to send the little plastic buggers flying in one fantastic maneuver but that would be very selfish she decided. Instead she locked eyes with him and teased his lips with her tongue and her teeth while she slowly undid them one by one.

“How much time do we have?” She asked as she pushed the starched shirt from his muscular shoulders. It hit the floor behind him and she watched him glance back at it.

“Enough,” he laughed.

She laughed too as her busy hands made their way down to his defined abdominals. Leaning in to kiss him again she felt his heat and the welcome prickle of his chest hair on her bare breasts.

“Good.” His pants pooled at his ankles as she grabbed is ass with one hand and his erection with the other.

She smiled. Even better, two frak ups frakking in the brig.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Helo‘s large frame filled the hatch as he stalked into the cell. Flanking him were two marines, one of which was Mathias. All three were silent and expressionless. Kara had a bad feeling about this.

“Lee. I need to talk to Lee.” When Helo didn’t answer she raised her voice. “Helo?! Karl, don’t do this, you were always my friend!”

Mathais cuffed her from behind and then the marines marched Kara out ahead of them.

“I am Kara.” Helo stoically replied “This is for your own good.”

oOoOoOoOoOo

FLIGHTDDECK

Kara’s escorts brought her before president Roslin.

“Captain?”

Silence.

“Kara, I need you to look at me.”

“I’m not sure if you heard my testimony in court yesterday…” Roslin’s voice trailed off with her thoughts, almost breaking before she snapped herself back into the moment. “This is a wig, my cancer has returned and the treatment caused my hair to fall out. I do not know what my role is in the fulfillment of the prophesy but I am indeed dying.”

She now had Kara’s attention as she looked up, once again confronted with chaos where there should have been solid ground. “But you beat it before….” She stammered, not wanting to accept what she was hearing.

“It has spread throughout my body and there is no cure this time. The reason I am telling you this is that I need for you to understand how important it is that we find Earth. Nothing can get in the way of this, do you understand, Kara? Nothing.”

oOoOoOoOoOo

Kara stared into Roslin’s sternly fixed eyes and let out a frustrated laugh, held in for far too long already. “Then maybe you shouldn’t have missed…but you prefer an airlock don’t you? Is that what this is? Deep space and no one will notice?” she gritted looking away again. Kara was too busy trying to fit this new information into her theory to even consider that she was about to be airlocked. The one that was guiding her actions and giving everyone she loved a reason to hate her. Everyone except Lee.

Laura took a deep breath and Kara was sure the elder woman was suppressing her temper.

“You and I have the same goal and I think that we should be working together not against each other.”

Kara eyed the president warily. Laura’s fear was channeled into a desperate determination that Kara had to admit she admired, but she couldn’t bring herself to believe the woman who tried to put a bullet in her head not that long ago was now having a change of heart.

“What are you saying?” Kara tested, eyes darting back and forth between the Helo and the President.

“Adama is giving you a ship and a crew and a chance to follow your vision but in return I will require that you do not undermine my leadership; spiritually or presidentially. And you will not insubordinate Admiral Adama again. Is that clear? You have got to pull yourself together and act like someone these people can follow. “

TBC

FIc: For Now

2009-04-24T19:01:53Z

Title: For Now
Author: arielmoondance
Pairing: L/K
Words: 933

Thanks: jei_e

AN: I tried to come up with a very simple “fix” for the last Lee and Kara scene that would have made a difference in how I felt about the ending for the ship. I read a fic that was written just after the finale that had a similar element to this but I needed to write it my way for my own peace of heart.

Lee watched as the raptor disappeared behind the distant hills and recalled his father’s words the last time he piloted a raptor. The old man couldn’t live without Laura and she was not long for this world. It was tempting to deny what those two things meant right now. The gnawing in his gut was too strong though. He had said goodbye to his father before more than one so called suicide mission but he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the final one.

“Why do I get the feeling he’s not coming back?” he asked quietly when he was sure he was composed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kara turn back towards the camp.

“Because he’s not,” She said frankly. Then she paused and twisted her body to look him in the eye, “and neither am I.”

Suddenly the foreboding was like a viper landing on his chest. His mind struggled to grasp what his subconscious had been suggesting since her return from the dead. That each and every second since the nebula, every moment that he had had in her presence was a gift that was about to be ripped from him. Again. Forever.

“What? Where are you going?” He stuttered.

“I don’t know. I just know my journey is over and it feels good.” But her face was anything but good. It was twisted with pain. Very likely, his was a mirror image. He took a step toward her and she immediately turned away, her eyes wandering out across the plain. A klaxon went off in his head as he recognized deflection; crossed arms and the clearing of her throat.

Earth was beneath his feet and the cylons were not longer a threat but Lee Adama had one more battle. For his heart.

“What? That’s it? This is your reward? A life of pain and struggle and even death so you could bring us to the promised land. But you don’t get to stay and enjoy it? Your gods have a sick sense of humor Kara.”

“After all of this you still don’t have faith do you?”

“I have faith. My faith is in you. I don’t need anything else.”

A sad smile stretched her lips. “Lee Adama loves me.”

“I have always loved you…”

“…from the first moment we met” she finished for him. “This is not the end. I will be waiting for you. We will be together again.”

“Kara…” he pleaded.

"I need you to hold on to this for me, Okay?" She pulled something gold from her pocket. During the last two weeks he had noticed her dipping into that same pocket, surreptitiously palming its contents. He knew this because during that time she had been his constant companion. Every night they watched the sunset before sharing a pad on the floor of his tent. When they were sated and spent they spooned together, listening to the sounds of the night in the new world she had brought them to.

He was proud of not spoiling the time with her by assuming anything from one minute to the next. Did he somehow know that there was an expiration date on this happiness? Each and every morning when he awoke to those amazing hazel eyes he was grateful. And yet now that the moment was here he was having trouble swallowing the bitter taste of a fate he could nothing about.

In his hand she placed Aurora. She closed his fingers around it, then placed a soft kiss on them as tears threatened to overflow from where they flooded her eyes. Lee sniffed and blinked back his own tears as he smoothed golden windswept strands back from her face. “Yeah, okay.”

He watched her steel her features and fight to bring a smile from her lips to her eyes. Her arms once again crossed her chest, her gaze shifted again to the horizon.

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life Lee. What are you going to do?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets, the edges of the figurine digging into his right palm, and looked at the wilderness around him. It hit him then that he was free from responsibility, of leadership. He took a deep breath of the clean unfiltered air.

“I want to explore. I want to climb mountains…”

He actually smiled a little and turned back to gauge her reaction, but she was gone. As if she had never been there. No, that wasn’t true. Kara had always been larger than life, even in death. She was the love of his life and now he had a reason not to fear death.

“Good bye for now Kara Thrace.”

FIN

The Broken Road (3/?)

2008-02-28T22:45:39Z

The Broken Road
Chapter One
Chapter Two

Author: arielmoondance

Rating: M (Smut happens!)

Characters: L&K, Adama, Roslin.

Genre: Romance

Summary: The road to Earth is a journey of the heart.

Spoilers: WARNING! Season 4 speculation, promos, and possible spoilers running amok!

Word count: 2520

Disclaimer: I have borrowed these characters for my own personal enjoyment. No monetary gain or copyright infringement intended.

Credits: Thanks to mlsky for the transcripts and very special thanks to jei_e and samstareagle for the fabulous beta work. Icon by j eansmx.
Dedication: To the Kara and Lee shippers on skiffy. Long live the ship!

Chapter Three: Consumation

“I keep looking at the charts, hoping they will trigger something, but all I get is a headache.” Kara said to Lee as they jogged together along Galactica’s maze of corridors.

Lee had been watching her out of the corner of his eye but he turned and made eye contact with her before deadpanning. “Don’t hurt yourself.” He was rewarded with a punch in the arm.

“Ouch.” The new and improved Starbuck still had a mean right hook.

They continued in silence for a few minutes but every few steps he pushed her slightly off balance or she poked him in the ribs with one of her pointy elbows. When she thought the fun and games were winding down, she cleared her throat. “So, where are we?”

“C-deck,” he said cracking himself up. She rolled her eyes and waited for him to get serious. “Oh…right. Let’s see, you left Sam, my wife left me, you were grounded for reckless endangerment, to yourself I might add, and I am stuck babysitting the lawyer for the most hated man in human existence.”

“It could be worse, Lee, you could be babysitting said reckless hotshot problem pilot,” she teased.

“Actually, I’m finding Lampkin…hmmm…fascinating. He interviewed the six today and it was almost like… No, he knew exactly what to say to get the desired reaction from her.”

“Desired reaction?” Kara grinned goofily.

“Something like that,” Lee smiled back. “He’s up to something… No frakking idea what, but he knows what he’s doing.”

“I think you might be enjoying...” She started to say when Lee suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her into a nearby supply closet.

“Fancy meeting you here,” she quipped as he dogged the hatch.

“Come here often?” He turned on her as if stalking prey.

Kara feigned seriousness, “Why yes, whenever I am in need of….” She glanced around to see what exactly was in this particular closet.

Grabbing her about the waist he pulled her close “You are driving me insane.”

“I thought I was the crazy one!” He could feel her ribs vibrate as she giggled. He was mesmerized by her mouth.

“Kara?”

“Yes Lee?”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.” He did just that by crushing her sweet lips and taking her succulent tongue hostage with his own. Her mirth melted into passion in response. Hearing himself groan, he marveled how her hard edges could become so soft and pliable in his arms.

This was not exactly where and how he imagined their first intimate encounter since nearly loosing her. His fantasy, replayed approximately every 3 minutes, took place somewhere he could make long sweet love to her. His private shower... his office… his bed... anywhere but where they were. Their banter was so easy and her running shorts were revealing enough that he could not help himself. He was acting like a bull in a china shop and yet he could not stop.

She brought the animal out in him that he was unable and frankly unwilling to restrain. Right now he needed to be one with her. He needed to consume her and validate her existence.

Metal shelving provided him with the leverage to feel her fully against him but it was not enough for him. Their clothing was an impediment to the complete contact he craved. He set to work on removing her tank and she followed his lead, peeling his own tank off. He sucked on her salty throat while he waited to get his hands on her bare skin, his teeth sinking into the flesh above her collar bone. Her shorts landed on the floor at their feet.

He lifted her up onto the shelf and focused on the bra, pushing it out of the way but not bothering to fully remove it as his hungry mouth attached to her already excited nipples. She hissed with pleasure, reaching to get his shorts out of the way. He growled as her strong fingers wrapped around his length.

oOoOoOoOoOo

She had been preoccupied by the events of the last few days and although she felt an overall sense of calm and purpose, her free moments of time with Lee was the thing keeping her grounded. Skin on skin, his heat enveloped her and the last vestiges of tension dissipated. She felt a little lighter. She also felt an overwhelming desire for him to be inside her.

Positioning his erection at her slick folds, she gazed down at him. He gave her nipple a gentle tug with his teeth before releasing it and looked up at her.

Once their eyes locked, she used her legs to push him inside. She heard him gasp and say her name but the rest became lost in her hair and sensitive flesh of her neck. After his initial deep thrusts he was able to rein in his fervor and she matched his cadence with her hips. She dug her short nails into his back.

Then he said, “I love you” and it drove her over the ledge she had been dangling from since he entered her.

As the waves of sweet release washed over her, he spread her arms out wide to the sides, pinning her hands to the shelves. She felt vulnerable in this position. But oh so good. Three strong pumps later his breathing broke from rhythm and she knew he was close. She pressed her lips against his ear, squeezed her walls around him, and whispered “I love you.” Hearing him cry out as he came caused her shatter once more around him.

They collapsed into each other gasping for air in the delicious afterglow. When she could breathe normally again she laughed and kissed him. They took their time untangling their limbs to reacquire their clothes. She was sated and giddy and she wished she had the luxury of a post coital nap.

The blissful spell was broken by Galactica’s FTL warning claxon.

As the drive kicked in she felt increasing pressure in her head. She was starting to see a correlation between the jumps and a very real physical pain. “Frak!”

“Kara, what is it?”

“My head…”

oOoOoOoOoOo

Kara faced Laura Roslin and Admiral Adama in his quarters. The president cut right to the point. “So let me get this straight. You were told by your dead finance that you would lead us to Earth?”

“Well yes and no, whoever they…whatever it was, it looked like him, but that’s not what’s important…” Kara defended.

Laura jumped in again, “And you say we are going the wrong way.”

“That is what I am saying.”

“Based on what exactly?”

She paused for an instant to plant her stance firmly on the deck, and brace for what she was about to say. What she was about to admit. “Instinct. I know it sounds crazy but my whole life has been preparing me for this. My mother told me I was special and the cylons believe it too. I’ve been drawing patterns like the one in the temple since as long as I can remember. There was no possible way for me to have seen it before and that temple was thousands of years old.”

“So now you know exactly where this fleet’s supposed to go?” challenged Roslin.

“I’m not saying that…” Kara muttered defensively.

“Captain Thrace, do you or don’t you know where Earth is?” Roslin shouted firmly, glaring Kara down with all her strength of will “Yes, or no?”

“I don’t know where it is! I have been there! On a beach, and there were ruins, and… I don’t know how I got there or how I got back to the fleet. But I do know that this feels wrong!”

Adama stepped forward between the two women. “Kara, listen to yourself!”

Roslin’s gaze shot out at Adama, still understanding why he wanted to believe her, but not believing that he actually did. Kara took a step back, her face glaring with confusion and fear. She knew they didn’t buy any of what she was telling them, maybe not even a word of her story. But maybe he still believed her… “You said you loved me like a daughter once.” she stated, searching Adama’s eyes for the conviction that she had always been able to find in him “If you still love me you will listen to me. Why can’t you believe me?”

She watched for him to flinch, break his stern demeanor…anything… All she got was a growled sigh of an admission. “Because I can’t.” he replied, turning away from her.

“Thank you Captain.” Roslin broke in, carefully watching Adama as he stepped back “We will take this under advisement. You’re dismissed.”

“Admiral?” Kara fired at Adama.

Adama sighed. He never liked to take sides when it came to the president and Kara. Always looked for the middle ground…always the third option. Only this time…all he could see were two diverging roads before two very headstrong women. “You are dismissed.”

Kara left without saluting, storming the deck plates under her boots and holding her hands behind her head.

Bill and Laura were silent for a few minutes. Bill poured a drink for himself and Laura. He watched her intently while she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “Did you see the report from Starbuck’s gun camera footage? The one that recorded the static?”

“I did. What about it?” replied Roslin, pretending to concentrate on her drink, and the Admiral’s book collection.

“The fact that it recorded static isn’t what interests me…” Adama lead in, already seeing Roslin chafe at where they both knew he was going “What interests me is that there was 6 hours of static.”

“That is interesting isn’t it?” she replied, tipping her glass back and looking away off into the shadows.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Kara caught up with Lee in the gym as he worked the punching bag over pretty good. He stopped and grabbed the heavy bag when he saw her enter in her cut off cargos and sport bra.

“How did your meeting go?”

She inhaled and sucked her lower lip between her teeth. “I don’t know if I would believe me.”

“I believe you Kara.” He said making his way over to where she stood by the bench press.

“Still trust my eyes over DRADIS, huh?” she quipped, lowering her eyes to catch his staring back into her.

“And mine.” Lee replied “Promised you I’d fly your wing, Kara.”

She clenched her jaw and fought the tears that threatened. His arms came around her and although he was sweaty from his exercise she welcomed the embrace. Her head rested on his shoulder and she could smell perspiration and general issue soap that they all used but that smelled particularly good on him. “Whatever it takes…” Kara whispered with a restful smile, feeling her breath grace his skin.

Just then, a boisterous group of pilots came in the room and they stepped back, regaining their casual posture. Word of the estrangements from their spouses had gone around the fleet and all at once, the whispered suspicions of the past had merit. Rumor had become fact and that made it potentially more bitter for Sam and Dee. They were resolved not to hide their relationship, but still, neither one wanted to rub salt into fresh wounds. Lee removed his boxing gloves and moved into position to spot Kara on the bench.

“I heard the tribunal was picked.” she commented as she eased the bar down to her chest with a grunt.

“Yeah, but can anyone be impartial? A jury is supposed to be objective, weigh the facts and then make judgment, but there isn’t a soul alive that hasn’t had their lives turned inside out by what happened on New Caprica.”

She finished her repetitions and Lee guided the bar back into place. She shook her head as she regulated her breathing. “What, you think you could be fair?” he challenged.

She gazed upside down at him from the bench. He was studying her so intently she bit down on the retort that popped into her head to answer seriously. “Honestly, Lee, I don’t know. There was a time when I wanted everyone to pay for what happened to me there. Caprica…the end of the world…all of it. I guess I even blamed myself for it…”

“And now?” Lee asked, registering that she was speaking in the past tense about everything they still lived with.

“Now,” she said sitting up and adjusting the Velcro on her padded weight gloves, “I am not in the same place anymore. Do I think the little weasel has it coming? Yeah, I think he could have used his superior mental skills to do something…anything, but I don’t know that he actually broke any laws. Nothing worse than anything we did to ourselves since this war began.”

“Sound’s fair…” he said still searching her face. Maybe we’ve all got it coming.

“I think you might actually like this.” Kara snarked, grinning ear to ear. “Defying your father… ”

“It’s not about that, Kara, it’s…” Lee jumped in, wishing she couldn’t see straight through him “It’s just been a long time since I felt this passionate about something. Something more important than just the uniform, or the system…” She started to snap him with her sweat rag in protest but he caught the end of it. “But I have felt passionate about someone.” He surrendered with a smile, tugging on the threadbare towel and pulling her up so to plant a kiss on her forehead. Her hands landed on his chest and to anyone watching, it would seem they were exchanging sweet sentiments.

“You realize it’s your ass on the line if you actually use that story of yours for Baltar’s defense.” Kara reminded him, serious all over again.

“I don’t care what people think about me. I believe in this. Everyone deserves a fair trial. Even Gaius Frakking Baltar.”

Lee gazed into the greenish brown eyes that he knew so well, hoping to see something new there. She caught the question in his expression, this one nowhere near as confident as his bold statement seconds ago. “Don’t worry; I’ve got your wing, Apollo.” Kara smiled softly.

“Thanks Starbuck.” He winked and planted another kiss on her forehead.

TBC

AN: I have taken liberties with the end of the season and also with promos and possible spoilers for S4. Some things in canon may or may not happen, you’ll just have to read along…Once again some will recognize my blatant theft of dialogue from Carl Sagan’s Contact.

The Broken Road (2/?)

2008-02-21T15:17:34Z

Sorry for the delay. I had hoped to post a chapter a week but we all know how that goes!!

Title: The Broken Road

Author: arielmoondance

Rating: M (There will be smut later)

Characters: L&K, Helo, Gaeta, Dualla, Anders.

Genre: Romance

Summary: The road to Earth is a journey of the heart.

Spoilers: WARNING! Season 4 speculation, promos, and possible spoilers running rampant!

Word count: 2000 or so

Disclaimer: I have borrowed these characters for my own personal enjoyment. No monetary gain or copyright infringement intended.

Credits: Thanks to mlsky for the transcripts and very special thanks to the uber talented jei_e and samstareagle for their awesome beta work.
Dedication: To the Kara and Lee shippers on skiffy. May our ship come in!

Chapter One

AN: I have taken liberties with the end of the season and also with promos and possible spoilers for S4. Some things in canon may or may not happen- you’ll just have to read along!

CHAPTER TWO: Resolution

oOoOoOoOoOo

“So that’s it, you’re grounding us?” Lee stood before his father feeling like he was back in grammar school.

“You are the only one I can trust. It’s an important job. Helo will be stepping in as CAG. “

“And Kara?”

“She’s a danger to herself and she almost took you with her into the hard deck. I want you both on this ship, not out there. Not until you two can work this out. Do you know how devastating to me it would be if she died?” Bill turned away from his son in an attempt to keep his anger in check.

“You? You have no idea! You have no frakking idea!” Lee burst without thinking. He was suddenly tired of his father’s denial of his feelings. He filled his lungs with air and slowly exhaled through his nostrils. To his father’s back he declared, “I love her!”

Bill swung around and brought his voice from deep in his chest. “I love her too, like my own flesh and blood!”

Clenching his fists at his sides, Lee refused to back down. “No, dad, listen to me. I am in love with Kara!”

“What? Are you out your mind? She’s married and so are you!”

“We frakked up!” Lee cut in furiously as he let himself admit the truth. “We know that now.”

“I’ll say you did and you are going to fix this. She is grounded until Cottle says she’s clear and you are going to head the security team for Lampkin. You are a soldier, act like one. Report for duty.”

“Is that an order?” His disclosure had brought out a cockiness he left uncharacteristically unchecked. He was playing with fire and liking it.

“You’re in way over your head.” Adama growled, glaring at his son and back to his desk in an instant. “Report for duty.”

“Is that an order?”

Lee’s entire life had been about figuring out who he was. He finally let himself realize the truth… who Lee Adama was supposed to be…

Himself.

Adama looked up at him once more, reflecting all the anger and defiance directed at him. “I’m through giving you orders.”

oOoOoOoOoOo

Helo and Gaeta were in the ops planning room studying navigational charts that were strewn all over the table. Gaeta circled an area he thought was suspicious for possible cylon activity. Helo nodded, “I am going to have a raptor check out that picket.”

There was a clank from the doorway and both men looked up as Kara stumbled through the hatch “That last jump was a doozy. Anyone else feel light headed?” She asked a little embarrassed.

“Starbuck, maybe you need to go back and see Cottle,” Helo suggested helpfully.

Kara rolled up her nose in response. She greeted Gaeta who was gathering up his papers, tapping the handful on the edge of table to neatly arrange them. “Captain,” he responded and then addressed Helo, “We can, uh, finish this later, sir” before scurrying out the door. Helo watched him go with eyebrows raised but Kara did not seem to notice Gaeta’s nervous behavior.

Helo returned his attention back to Kara and observed her for a moment. “I just got word from the Admiral.”

She shrugged and played with the drawstring of her hoodie passively.

“You don’t seem upset” Helo observed quietly.

She gazed up into and made eye contact with him for the first time. “I can’t say I blame him. One too many crazy stunts, even for Starbuck.” He shook his head and was about to argue when she continued, “Are these the coordinates for the next jump?”

“Uh yeah”

“And we want to end up… here?” She pointed on the wide, glass board.

“Right”

“Ok, then what?” Kara snapped tipping Helo off to something his still couldn’t quite place, or didn’t want to, that he’d seen in her ever since her near death experience.

“Not really sure. I guess we’ll know more when we get there. Another sign post perhaps.”

“To Earth” she said to him and then whispered under her breath he could swear she added, “and I will lead us there.”

“What did you say?” Helo asked, locking his gaze onto her.

“Nothing, uh, just thinking aloud.”

Helo’s growing concern etched his features. “Kara, I am sorry I haven’t been here for you. I should have done something when you told me about the nightmares. I was so caught up in Hera’s trauma…”

“Karl, I am fine. Something happened out there today, something good and things seem to finally be falling into place.”

“Does this have anything to do with a PDA with Lee in front of all the pilots and deck crew?”

She attempted, unsuccessfully, to contain a grin as she flashed back to the greeting from Lee but then she frowned. Wasn’t Helo’s business anyway…“That reminds me, I need to call Sam.”

“I think so.” He chuckled.

She started to leave then turned back “Do you mind if I come back and look at these some more?”

He nodded. “Just ‘cause your grounded doesn’t mean you aren’t valuable to the fleet.”

“Thanks Karl” She grinned. Helo watched is oldest friend, more or less by default, leave with a mixture of hope and trepidation. Kara actually looked happy and yet he wondered how much she wasn’t telling him. Ignoring the signs that she was suicidal had almost cost them dearly, a mistake he did not want to repeat. He had been ordered to report any strange activity from the emotionally disturbed pilot but he made a conscious decision not to pick up the handset and recount their conversation.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

Lee’s recent dealings with Romo Lampkin had set his mind in motion for reasons that were not clear to him yet and now as he stared down at the boxes his father had sent over from storage he was even more perplexed. His grandfather’s law library that had lined the bookshelves in his den years ago, now sat on the floor of the quarters he shared with his wife.

“I heard you on the comms” said a familiar voice with an unwelcome bite to it.

Dee was standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. Lee looked up from the volume in his hand and immediately recognized the tone in his wife’s voice. It was like listening to a volcano grumbling and knowing it was going to erupt. He inhaled, smelling the sulfur, and waited.

“Everyone in CIC heard how you couldn’t maintain basic comm discipline…” she muttered acting it out as if toward herself, but targeted directly at him. Her intonation was accusatory and yet her eyes filled with huge tears that swelled before streaking down her face.

“I am sorry. I care about you,” Lee defended as Dee shook her head and pursed her lips together. “And you’re right I lost it out there. I have tried not to love her, tried to convince myself that I could stop but I have just been fooling myself and not being true to you. She… Kara means everything to me and I almost lost her for good.”

Turning away from her he took a small duffle from his locker and unzipped it- stopping in mid motion when she placed her tiny hand over his. “Let me have this,” she said evenly, giving each word the same emphasis. “Let me have my dignity.”

She snatched the duffle out of his hands and crossed to her locker on the other side of the room. An awkward silence passed before he decided to leave her to her task. He reached the hatch before she said anything.

“The entire fleet thinks she’s insane, that she tried to kill herself” Dee hurled at his back. He stepped out of the hatchway ignoring her completely.

oOoOoOoOoOo

In his haste, Sam almost slammed full tilt into the open locker door. He regained most of his balance with athletic grace but his forearm still made contact with it. Dee was on the other side of the door and it smacked her in the elbow. Grasping her smarting limb she glared up at him.

“Oh man, I am such a klutz. I am sorry Dee.” He stammered. “Have you seen my wife?”

“No, but, I have no doubt you will find her in the company of my husband.” She sniffed. “Try the mess hall.”

Sam hesitated, suddenly feeling like he had fallen into a snake pit. Then he put it together as to why Dee would be unpacking and moving into the senior officer’s quarters. “Figures,” was all he could think of to say.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Sam stalked toward the officer’s mess with a full head of steam prepared to confront Kara and Lee once and for all. Maybe it was time he gave Lee a piece of his mind for not revoking Kara’s flight status before she went out and tried to kill herself. He gave the memorial hallway a passing glance as he went by and pulled up short when he caught site of her blond hair in the corner.

Her face was illuminated by the flickering candles and softened by the whispy smoke from burning incense. She sat on a crate between two taller ones across from where she had Kat’s picture pinned to the wall. Papers, charts, and pictures were haphazardly spread before her and she chewed on the pencil in her mouth. Her attention to a particular one allowed him to approach unnoticed until he was close enough to see what she was looking at. That damned mandala again.

“Hey baby,” he soothed, trying not to allow the frustration he felt to creep into his voice.

oOoOoOoOoOo

The carvings in the temple of five, the supernova, the swirling clouds of the gas planet, and the pattern she drew since she was a child somewhere held a key. But what was it?

She saw a familiar pair of boots in front of her.

“Sam, I was going to call you…” She had been anticipating this conversation and yet she felt unprepared and very distracted.

“It’s all over the fleet. I hopped on the first shuttle over here.”

Better to get it over with. Setting aside the papers and the pencil, she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“They teach you in flight school to assume that every time you go out and engage the enemy you are already dead. Fear gets you killed. The irony is that pretending to be dead keeps you alive. I know what everyone is saying, how it looks...”

Slowly Sam kneeled in front of her, found her wrists and gently unfolded her arms. “My offer still stands. You are my wife and we can work through it, whatever it is. I know we can, if you’ll just come away with me.”

“Sam, I can’t. I didn’t try to kill my self; I have a reason to live.” She said deliberately withdrawing her hands from his grip. “Turns out I always did...”

“Is that reason your special destiny, Kara or is it Lee Adama?” Sam breathed out, staring straight through her.

She considered his question but did not detect any sarcasm; sometimes Sam had a knack for cutting to the chase. “Yes, both.” She paused knowing that her next words were going to be painfully honest. “You asked me if I loved Lee, I wasn’t sure at the time but the answer is yes.”

TBC

The Broken Road (1/?)

2008-02-10T13:59:28Z

Title: The Broken Road

Author: arielmoondance

Rating: M (There will be smut later)

Characters: L&K

Genre: Romance

Summary: The road to Earth is a journey of the heart.

Spoilers: WARNING! Season 4 speculation, promos, and possible spoilers running rampant!

Word count: 2000

Disclaimer: I have borrowed these characters for my own personal enjoyment. No monetary gain or copyright infringement intended.

Credits: Thanks to mlsky for the transcripts and very special thanks to the uber talented CranberryJei and samstareagle for their awesome beta work.

Dedication: To the Kara and Lee shippers on skiffy. You rock!

AN: The inspiration for this fic came from the Lee and Kara thread on skiffy when someone prompted “What if Kara didn’t die in Maelstrom and we still got the reunion hug?” I knew that I was going to have to dust off my pen and take this one on. It niggled me for a while but it wasn’t until I was thinking about one of my favorite films that it started to come together. I have blatantly borrowed dialogue from the Robert Zemikis/Jodie Foster flick Contact where I thought it fit in this story. AU from Maelstrom. I have taken liberties with the end of the season and also with promos and possible spoilers for S4. Some things in canon may or may not happen, you’ll just have to read along… Please forgive my lack of original creativity, I was a professional motion picture editor and I am a total amateur writer.

CHAPTER ONE: Reunion

Kara regained consciousness as her viper careened through the gas clouds at the brink of the hard deck. Her awareness shifted from the surreal experience with psuedo-Leoben and Socrata to the very real pleading of Lee Adama through the comm piece. Another flash like lightning outside her canopy made her turn her head. This time she saw Zak standing in her old apartment, his hand reaching out to her. She smiled.

“I’m not afraid anymore” she whispered to Lee. I am happy for you… really. “Just let me go.”

Surely this was the end and the gods had sent Zak to show her the way to Elysium. Her heart soared and she was filled with unmitigated contentment. The demons that had haunted her young life had been exorcised. She was ready to let go of this world and follow Zak into the hereafter.

“They’re waiting for me.”

Suddenly the cylon heavy raider appeared right in front of her. She did not startle, though her thumb instinctively slid over the trigger.

“I’ll see you on the other side.” She pressed the button unleashing the wing-mounted cannons.

The heavy raider exploded in an impressive display not unlike a thousand fireworks over Delphi on Colonial Day. She was blinded by the light but she did not fight for control as her viper oscillated through the debris field. Her hands drifted off the joy stick, she closed her eyes and exhaled- ready for whatever was to come.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Lee’s heart was a hammer in his chest and a bass drum in his ears. His throat burned from the futile attempts to convince Kara to listen to him. Not having seen the heavy raider he considered for the briefest second that she was on a suicide mission. He shook that thought off and strained to find Kara in the thick swirling clouds in which she had disappeared. Her last, barely audible words had sent a chilling panic through him and as he struggled to keep his emotions in check, the explosion stunned him.

“Nooooooo!” He roared. Long after his voice gave out his mind continued to scream so loudly that he barely heard his father’s voice telling him to pull up. It was the only thing that prevented him from following Kara into the hard deck.

OoOoOoOo

Waking from what she perceived to be a few hours of sleep, Kara felt better that she had in years. She yawned lazily, opened her eyes, and found herself on a beach with a pristine shore and teal green water that darkened to deep blue at the horizon. A brilliant sun radiated warmth but the temperature seemed just right to be comfortable in her rubber flight suit. Gentle breezes played in her hair and she tasted salt on her lips.

Behind her, just past the dunes, were the ruins of ancient structures. Like dark skeletons they stood in stark contrast to the white sand. Just above her the mandala clouds of red, yellow, and blue swirled like a lazy hurricane. She stretched up a gloved hand to touch them but they rippled away, just out of reach.

Movement to her right caused her to turn and squint at a ghostly figure walking towards her along the shoreline. She dug her fingers into the warm sand to verify that something about this place was real before getting to her feet. As the silhouette approached, it came into focus and she realized that is was Zak. He looked exactly the same as he did the last time she saw him alive, boyish and jovial.

“Zak.”

His smile was like another sun shining on her face. She knew she was grinning like an idiot but didn’t care as his arms opened and welcomed her into his embrace.

“I am sorry I couldn’t be there for you,” he soothed into her ear.

It hit her. “This isn’t…You’re not Zak.”

Pulling back he replied, “We thought this might make things easier for you.”

The space between life and death. “Who are you, are you a god?”

“It’s not important. But we have been watching you humans for thousands of years. You are an interesting species, such an interesting mix. You are capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone. In all the time we have existed, the only thing that we found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.”

“What happens now?

“Now you go back and lead humanity to earth.”

“Earth?”

“Yes, you are standing on it.”

“Like the tomb of Athena. But how do we get here?”

“When the time comes you will know the way. It’s a broken road but it leads straight here. You’ll see. Believe in yourself, trust your instincts. And Kara, open your heart. The one that lives here” he tapped her chest “will help you. Earth is just the destination; the important thing is the journey with him.”

At once the sky filled with shooting stars that converged into a single bright all encompassing light. There were so many questions, so much uncertainty yet she had no choice but to close her eyes and let it overtake her.

oOoOoOoOoOo

When Kara opened her eyes she was in her viper again. Her hands were steering through the middle of a tremendous vortex of swirling clouds. She had no idea how she had gotten from her viper to Earth in the first place let alone how she had gotten back in it. She nervously licked the sweat accumulating above her lip as she navigated through an ever changing path in the center. Gradually she relaxed, started enjoying the dips and curves, and even chuckled during a twist requiring a tight barrel roll.

Every so often she glanced down at her gauges and noted that she was getting low on fuel. After some time, she had no idea how long, the color and shape of the clouds began to change. All at once she was surrounded by a grayish fog and then, without warning, the craft hit upon tremendous turbulence. Alarms blared, sensors lit up the cockpit, and the metal hull whined in protest from the immense pressure.

With the Zak avatar’s words in her head, she grabbed the throttle and pulled back with all her strength. Grunting with the effort, she jammed her feet into the floorboards. For a fleeting moment she thought it was too late, the strain too much. She had danced to the edge one too many times. A resigned, bitter laugh escaped her just as her bird began to feel light again.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Once more, Adama’s voice cut through the haze in Lee’s head. “Can you see her?”

Lee’s vision was still imprinted with the after affect of the explosion making it nearly impossible to see anything. He was almost afraid to look, lest he see nothing but the remnants of her ship but something was moving away from the fireball.

“Yes, Yes! I see her! Kara, do you read?”

The silence was deafning.

“Dad, her comms must be down. Her ship is...uh…intact… I don’t… it looks good, uh like new….”

Adama interrupted, “Don’t lose her again Lee.”

“Not a chance.” Not a chance!

oOoOoOoOoOo

Once Kara’s ship leveled off she was able to convince the alarms to cease and desist but her DRADIS display remained garbled. Resorting to Mark one eye ball she spotted Lee’s Mark VII barreling towards her.

For a moment she worried he too was running dangerously on bingo fuel but that thought was fleeting as she could think of no one else she more desperately wanted to see right then. So much she needed to tell him, so much lost time to make up for. She flicked the comms switch and received a painful jolt of static. Frak.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Lee maneuvered his viper alongside Kara’s and tried the comms again. She shook her head and tapped her helmet in reply. He allowed himself to breathe again. “Gods Kara.” He muttered to himself. Was she actually smiling at him after scaring the crap out of him like that?

He kept his viper on her wing on the way back to Galactica and waited the eternity it took for the lift to bring his bird back to the hangar deck. While popping his canopy open he frantically searched the bustling bay and was on the ladder before it was secured in place. Kara handed her helmet to the specialist as he raced to the opposite end where the deck gang had docked her.

Discordant emotions consumed him as her wide eyes meet his; anger, fear, relief and back to anger. He was about to propel himself up the steps when she landed in front of him, smiling, alive and breathing.

In response to his turmoil, her face flickered and he recognized the expression. It was the same one she had when, a lifetime ago, she tentatively asked if they were ok. Immediately, his anger dissolved and he was overcome with relief and the undeniable knowledge that losing her would be unimaginable and utterly unbearable. Giving in to the desire to confirm her existence, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up, bringing the length of her body against his.

He croaked “For a second, I thought you were dead.”

oOoOoOoOoOo

In the fullness of the embrace, Kara felt Lee’s cheek with her ear. Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered his words under her viper earlier that day. “Whatever it takes.”

“So did I,” she sighed.

He squeezed her tighter before setting her back on her feet. Her boots tapped the deck but she felt like she was floating.

“What happened out there?”

“I am not entirely…Lee?”

“It doesn’t matter. You are alive and…”

Hearing the thickness of his voice, she realized that their unspoken feelings were hanging out in space waiting to be formed into words. Words she had always dreaded and yet desperately craved. Her world had turned upside down and she had not been able to process everything that had happened but there was one thing Kara Thrace was absolutely sure of. The fear was gone, and as her hands framed the sides of his face, she locked his eyes to hers. “Lee, I love you.”

He blinked slowly, his forehead creasing as he struggled to fathom the enormity of what she said. Shaking his head, his eyes welling with tears, Lee Adama managed to speak clearly, “I love you Kara.”

oOoOoOoOo

“Pass the word, Major Adama report to Admiral Adama’s quarters. Captain Thrace report to Life Station immediately.”

With tears streaking down their cheeks they stared into each other’s eyes, continuing a silent dialogue for an infinite minute before spontaneously giving way to infectious smiles. He gently pulled her closer until the soft skin of their foreheads made contact. Duty called but he was unwilling to let go of her just yet. Mesmerized by her full lips he chuckled at their frakked up timing.

“Time to face the music,” she sighed and they finally made their way, hand in hand, to the stairs.

“This conversation is not over.” He said, reluctantly letting go of her hand as they went in opposite directions.

TBC

Career Cruising Meme

2007-09-14T15:06:28Z

Snagged from </a></b></a>proggrrl
1. Go to http://www.careercruising.com/.
2. Put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top ten-fifteen results.
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
1. Casting Director (fun!)

2. Massage Therapist (I have thought about it)

3. Website Designer (not so much)

4. Animator (fun!)

5. Actor (yeah baby!) (in my dreams!)

6. Illustrator (kinda like an animator, so fun!)
7. Professional Athlete (I am a former professional horse trainer)
8. Photography (yeah baby!)
9. Costume Designer (ok!)
10. Furniture Finisher (huh?)
11. Veterinarian (except for vet school- yeah!)
12. Make-up artist (fun!)
13. Musical Instrument Builder and Repairer (ok?)
14. Art Director (sure)
15. Comedian (I think I am funny but I am not sure others do)

Movie trailers

2007-08-06T15:32:03Z

I dont know if we have any Ang Lee fans out there but I had total goose bumps after viewing the trailer for his new film.

Lust Caution

Also this one:

Elizabeth: The Golden Age
(Squee madgirlcrush on Cate Blanchett)

My desk

2007-07-28T20:14:43Z

This took a while but better late than never....

Now with added pics!!!

Shadow does not usually hang near me unless there is a storm. He prefers the couch or his bed in my bedroom. He agreed to pose if he was to get a treat.

This is my desktop... made by the uber talented Liebestraume! This is Shadow on his bed in my room.

FIC: Sweet Surrender

2007-07-11T16:01:23Z

I posted this the other day then accidently deleted it- so this is a re-post!!

Title: Sweet Surrender
Author: arielmoondance
Rating: NC-17 (Adult only)
Character/Pairing: Kara & Lee
Genre: Romance, smut
Summary: Bridgefic between Unfinished Business and The Eye of Jupiter. Kara allows herself to be in the moment.
Spoilers: Season 3
Word Count: 4335

Disclaimer: I am borrowing these wonderful characters. No copywrite infrigement intended.
Credits: The title is inspired by Sarah McLaughlin's "Sweet Surrender" and the lyrics are the Goo Goo Dolls "Without You Here" used without permission but for no monetary gain.
Authors note: This is my second fic and my first attempt at smut. It took forever to write because I read many fics that are so good and I didnt feel this was terribly origonal. However I am fairly happy with it and decided to let it loose into the world. Comments always welcome.

And your love’s a gathered storm, I chased across the sky,

A moment in your arms, became the reason why

Kara Thrace knows how to love and she knows how to hate. Unfortunately, most of the time, these feelings are tangled up together inside her heart. She has always confused the two, her mother teaching that lesson early on. She suffered physical and mental abuse from the one person that should have loved her unconditionally.

She knows different levels of love, comfortable love like she had with Zak and safe love like she feels for Sam. But there is another kind of love; one that scares her to death and it’s the love she has for Lee Adama. It’s balls to the wall, scary-as-hell-kind of love and she has been sabotaging her own heart to keep it from ever being realized. Obstacles like her engagement to Zack and then, after his death, with her transfer to Galactica under the old man’s command. I loved your dead brother and now I work for you the father you hate!

Just when her life was beginning to be bearable again, it seems, the gods saw fit that they should be together at the end of the world. How else did he come to be on Galactica and not his own doomed battlestar the day the cylons attacked? How was it she was in the brig and not out in an ill-fated viper on that same day?

At least being her direct superior officer kept him off limits but it still proved to be challenging. For months they danced around each other and in and out of their personal space. Sleeping with Gaius Baltar should have been undeniable proof that she was a screw up, but he just couldn’t stay mad at her for very long.

So they danced some more until the fateful night on New Caprica when she let the defenses down. Her admission of love to Lee was real but being this happy felt too much like free fall. On stims. After waking up in the arms of the man she loved most in the world, she knew she had to end it once and for all. Running to Sam, she placed what she thought would be a final, permanent barrier between them. She betrayed her own heart that day, as well as Lee’s, but it had to be done. Driving a knife into Lee’s heart, she gazing upon his face as it bled. Can’t you see it’s killing me either way? I am a frak up!

But, once again fate intervened and brought them back into each other’s lives and once again she needed to remind him of all the reasons he should not love her. She needs the physical pain to match the pain inside, to remind herself that it is real. Maybe they can physically beat the love from their hearts and then get on with their lives. Maybe she could be the wife Sam wanted her to be and he and Dee could have that bright shiny future with the porch swing.

She knows how to hate and since returning to the fleet after the exodus, she has been filled with it. Anger has raged inside her and it has led her here, to this boxing ring, with this man.

“Come on, you afraid to hit me? Or maybe you can’t” Frakking hit me Lee!

Finally he lays into her. Finally! Make this go away!

What she does not realize until it is too late, is that with each blow from his fists, the anger, pain, fear, self-loathing are being chipped away and all the barriers are being torn down until she is left with the raw truth. A truth she has buried deep inside her heart for a long time. She has loved Lee Adama all along, but now she knows that it’s bigger than both of them.

This incredible painfully twisted past has transformed them and strengthens the bond between them. If they can still feel this much anger, the love in their hearts must be huge. The past has been a test and a testament of their love. This love will endure anything she can put in its path. Maybe it’s time she gave up resisting it.

And so, bruised and bloodied, exhausted and relieved, she is in his arms. “I missed you,” she whispers.

“I missed you too,” he croaks, “I missed you too.”

She melts into his sweaty embrace and smiles into his shoulder. For a moment.

*****

And you're still the only light that fills the emptiness
The only one I need, until my dying breath

Standing in the memorial hall with the photo in her hand she tries not too see all the faces looking back at her. Yet another face is added to the wall but she has never needed pictures to remember all the pilots that have died. She can name them all, going back to Zack and now Kat will take her place in her crowded conscience. The bodies and the guilt are piling up and she is getting weary of carrying it all.

She wants to let go of the grief when she realizes that he is standing behind her. Desperately trying to swallow back the emotions, she takes a long deep breath before turning to face him. She is not sure what she is going to find on his face and it takes all her remaining strength to meet his eyes.

Lee’s expression is not anything close to what she was expecting. It is that of concern and something else she cant quite read but it compels her to move toward him, into his embrace. His powerful arms surround her and once again the floodgates threaten to burst. He more than anyone, knows the animosity between herself and Kat. But more than anyone he also knows how loosing a pilot affects her.

Kat is dead and it should have been her. Good people have died and the screwed-up sinner that is Kara Thrace lives another day. It could easily have been him but by some sick twisted fate they keep surviving and his arms are once again around her. Nothing will ever be the same again, she can not undue what she has done but it doesn’t seem to matter right now because he is holding her like he means to never let her go. She manages a small tortured smile against his chest even as the hot tears streak down her face. Just for a moment.

*******

And I would give you everything,

Just to feel your open arms
And I'm not sure I believe, anything I feel

Kara heads out for her morning run and almost collides with Lee coming out of the head. By coincidence, he’s dressed to run too. He shrugs, she nods, and then they fall into a rhythm together as they weave through the mostly empty corridors. Moving in silence, she enjoys the measured sounds of just their shoes and their breathing. They are side by side when she starts to sprint for the homestretch and he matches her effort. For once she does not try to out do him, she just pushes herself enough to feel the burning in her thighs and lungs. When they stop, back at the head, she puts her hands on her knees and looks up at him. There is a question in his eyes that has nothing to do with the workout.

“I’m ok,” she says.

“I know” he replies.

He lets his hand rest on her back briefly before he leaves and when he is out of sight she allows her self to grin. For a moment.

*******

But now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

Kara lies on her back in her rack after flying CAP, with her eyes closed, listening to the stillness of the officer’s quarters when the hatch opens and closes and foot falls stop beside her. She can hear him breathing and she smiles before she opens her eyes. Lee is looking down at her, drinking her in, and the hint of a smile plays on his lips. She reaches her hand out to him at the same moment that his moves toward her. He quickly surveys the room before he allows her to pull him into the bunk with her. He closes the curtain as she moves to give him some room in the cramped space. Turning her back to him, she brings his arm across her body at her waist and he spoons his body behind hers. His body is warm and his breath is hot on her neck. She smiles again and pushes back into him so that she can feel him against her from head to foot.

They stay like that, the only movement the rising and falling of their chests, for a long time and she would love to fall asleep like this but she is too aware of him. Her skin tingles in all the places where their bodies are touching. The contact reveals something hard, growing, and pressing against her butt. She snuggles into him even more and this causes him to hiss into her ear “Kara”. She closes her eyes and bites her lip.

It would be so easy to let this happen. His hand has drifted to her hip and his lips trace the edges of her ear. She lets a sigh escape from deep within her and he reacts by pressing his fingers deeper into her exposed flesh. Her hand reaches back to grasp his thigh and she delights in how the taunt muscles feel underneath his pants. His hand roams under her shirt and then under her bra to her breast. “MMMMM” she purrs, wiggling against his arousal. His teeth bite into her neck and she can hardly stand how turned on she is.

Normally she would seek to control the situation right about now but this time she holds back. She needs for this to be his move. Like the games they play, she made her move in the boxing ring. As if he knows what she is thinking, he unbuttons her pants and slides his hand between her legs causing her breath to hiss from her. He groans when his fingers discover the moist wet heat there. His other hand manages to slide under her, to her breast, pulling her even closer to him.

She hooks her leg back behind his, giving him more access as he skillfully guides her to the edge of ecstasy. Her breath becomes deeper and more even and he whispers in her ear, “Yes, that’s it.” And that is all it takes to slide past the point of no return, her body jerking. He doesn’t stop moving his fingers but he changes his rhythm to a longer slower motion -maintaining the waves- dragging it out almost unbearably. Before long she is on the edge again and his name escapes her lips. “Come again, Kara. I want you to come again.“ Nodding her head against him she can barely breathe and she knows this one is going to be huge because she can’t tell where the last one really ended. Like an eternal fall from a cliff. This time he slides two fingers inside when the orgasm rolls over her and she braces and against him locks down on his fingers, holding her breathe until she can’t any longer.

As she lies gasping in his arms he brings his wet fingers to her mouth but he can hardly stand it when she sucks his fingers so he devours her mouth to steal the sweet taste from her.

When he pulls back to catch his breath he says, “gods” and nuzzles her neck. She smiles again as an aftershock courses through her. It is so tempting to forget the past and not to worry about the future. She feels more alive than she has in a very long time and she is grateful. The guilt will be there later, for so many reasons, but she shuts that out. For the moment. She smiles into the pillow drifts into sleep.

*****

And I'm trying to believe
In things that I don't know
The turning of the world
The color of your soul

The stupid grin is still plastered to her face at 0700 when she sits waiting for the pilot briefing. She’s there before anyone else so she starts doodling on a piece of paper. A few seconds later she becomes aware that she is humming. This is insane, she thinks. Lee comes in past her and she swears that he blushes when he sees her face.

“Sleep well captain?” He asks when he gets behind the podium, fighting a matching stupid grin.

“Why yes, major.” She teases. Gods this is fun.

“That’s good because you have the first donut run.” He smirks as Hotdog, Helo, and Narcho filter into the room and take their seats.

“Oh thank you sir!” She chimes back at him. Helo is staring at her so she says to her friend in her mock annoyed voice “What?”

“Nothing, I mean, Starbuck, are you blushing?” He stammers.

“Frak no but if I had your bed head I would be.” She replies without missing a beat.

Racetrack comes in the room and asks “Hey, are they going to put algae in all the food?”

“I heard that eating too much algae turns your pee green!” Hotdog responds causing the other pilots to laugh.

Apollo jumps in to settle them down and then he does his CAG thing about the mission. A group of civilians and knuckle draggers will be harvesting the algae and he will be going down to the planet with a marine detachment to oversee the operation. The CAP schedule will be posted and there will be additional solo raptor runs that he will be assigning.

“Keep your eyes on DRADIS people, we don’t want any surprises while we have civilians on the surface. Skids up in four hours. Dismissed.”

*****

That love could kill the pain, The truth is never vain
It turns strangers into lovers, And enemies to brothers
Just say you understand, I never had this planned

She has some time to kill so she decides that now is a good time to do some repairs on the hangar deck.

She fiddles with the hydraulic lines on her viper and sure enough she’s still grinning. She loves mechanics because she can muck through things in her head while her hands are busy fixing things. If only she could put her life back together so easily. She can’t remember the last time she was this happy and she dreads that it has to end. It will. She will frak it up, she always does. For now though, she hums.

She sighs when the right size hose coupling is not out on the tool cart and she shrugs off to find one herself. The parts room is empty so she roots around in the various bins making quite a racket. The wrenches are particularly loud. She likes this tune, it’s pure Kara.

Someone else enters and she launches into “Chief, where can I find…?” Before she sees that it is Lee, here to make sense of her chaos. When she was very little her father had a metronome on the piano. It kept perfect time and no matter what she did to the keys, it never faltered. Lee Adama is her metronome.

“Hey”

“Having fun?”

“Yup.”

“Um, you have grease on your…” He’s staring at a point above her lip. She tries to wipe it off but only smears it worse.

“Here…” He slowly moistens his thumb and carefully dabs at the grease. She watches the intensity he is putting into this task and it makes her knees feel weak. His eyes find hers and she is lost in them. Frak.

He steps back and breaks the spell. “I haven’t seen Sam around…” Bigger frak.

She clears her throat and looks down at her hands. “He’s…We’re not…” She rolls her eyes and tries to make light. “Big surprise.”

“I am sorry, Kara.”

She wishes he had said, “I told you so” so she could deck him. That would be easier. She would prefer to fall back into their old familiar pattern- they should be hurting each other about now. A wisecrack could easily deflect the topic away from the demons in her closet but she’s getting tired. Damn it if he doesn’t sound sincere and that same look is there on his face again. The one she saw in the memorial hall. She still can’t identify it but it makes her do things she probably shouldn’t do. She is absolutely positive she doesn’t want to do what she is about to do. Frak.

She takes a very long deep breath and slowly begins to tell him about her confinement in Leoben’s personal detention cell on New Caprica. Soon the words and the memories are spilling out of her. She finds herself telling him how patient and persistent he was despite her repeated resistance. She confides that she felt the gods were punishing her for her sins, just as Leoben believed that his God would help him win her heart. Lee stays very still, leaning back against the table with his arms across his body.

“When I went back for Kacey, he had her with him and I knew what I had to do. I looked him in the eye and I told him that I loved him. I told him what he wanted to hear and I kissed him the way he said I would. Then I took the knife and I stabbed him in the gut. I watched his face as I twisted the blade…. and I saw your face, Lee, the day I got married.”

She closes her eyes. “So maybe, you should consider yourself lucky that I only broke your heart.”

“Kara…” he whispers, closing the distance between them. He seems lost for words so instead he lets his eyes do the talking for him. His hand cups her jaw and his thumb wipes the accumulating moisture from the corner of her eye. He gazes at her lips and she self-consciously sucks the top one between her teeth, focusing on his throat where it moves when he swallows. His other arm draws her body to his and her hands go to his bare bi-ceps. She marvels at how perfectly the hard muscles fit into her palms and how soft the skin around them is as she lets her arms hang from them. He’s still staring at her face, going from her eyes to her lips for what feels like forever. If he doesn’t kiss her soon, and hard, she is going to loose it but he’s waiting. Finally she raises her eyes to his and lets him see what is in her heart. His eyes take her breath away. Very gently he kisses her forehead, her cheeks, the bridge of her nose, her eyelids. His lips move to her ear and she lets a sigh escape her as she rolls her head to give him access to her throat.

“Lee, I am so…“ she starts to apologize but he cuts her off.

“Don’t.” he says and his mouth is on hers and he is swallowing the words before she can finish. He takes a hold of the back of her hair, tilting her head back forcefully so he can invade her mouth with his tongue. He maneuvers her against the wall so he can press up against her with the length of his body. His hunger is matched by hers, their mouths are insatiable. She sucks his tongue into her mouth and then lets it go with a slurping noise that makes him groan. He pulls back when they run out of air and she lets a laugh escape as she rubs her forehead against his. All of her emotions seem to be pouring out her, leaving her helpless to stop what is happening.

“Gods, I want you,” he whispers.

“Please, Lee.” She begs because she is going to go insane if he doesn’t take her, right here and now. He reaches behind her and with a barely audible grunt he lifts her off the ground. Her legs instinctively/ instantly warp around his hips as his groin pushes into hers. She nudges along his jaw until her lips find his ear, tracing and exploring it with her tongue and she gently blowing on it. He shivers and lets her slide down his body so he can rid them of their clothes. He reaches back and removes his tanks with one fluid motion as she undoes her pants. When her sports bra is the last remaining article between them he rips it off and over her head, trapping her arms above her head before he pushes her back into the wall. They come together, skin against skin and she almost laughs again as two thoughts pop into her head.

One is that neither one is going to last very at this intensity and two that she is unwilling and unable to stop this from happening. Deep down she knows this is wrong, not so much for her- but for him, for who is he is and what he stands for, what she admires most about him. But somewhere even deeper inside her is the knowledge that he is part of her. He is vital to her; everything seems to always come back to him. Nothing can come between then forever, they will always be drawn together by some force more powerful than the barriers they have thrown in the way.

Looking back she now knows that the spark had been there all along and everything that has happened between them since they met has just been variations of intensity of the fire. The flame has withstood every trial and is brighter than ever before. The pain they have endured at each other’s hands has in the end only strengthened this thing between them. So even though this thing happening now is so very wrong, she knows that it is, really, the only right thing in the world. This dichotomy is pure Kara chaos. Starbuck and Apollo are meant to be together and are meant to be one. Their hearts and their bodies come together now as one, in a blinding fury of heat and need and the past and passion and of ultimate release.

When it’s over, they cling to each other as they struggle to breathe and stand on weakened limbs. There are no words for this moment but when she looks at him again he is smiling at her. Amidst the chaos that is Kara Thrace, there is a constant, Lee Adama.

She smiles back at him. For a moment.

****

My head lies to my heart, And my heart it still believes
It seems the ones who love us are the ones we deceive
But you're changing everything, You're changing everything in me

She brings the raptor in fast and low over the ridge and hits the reverse thrusters as the cumbersome machine groans under the strain. In the cockpit it’s all about control, the joy ship is an extension of her body and the ship yields to her will.

How she loves to fly- if this was her viper she would do a million barrel rolls for how she feels right not. But this is not her viper and being in love is not like controlling 5 tons of metal- its far more treacherous. It’s like being blindfolded or worse, letting someone else take the controls.

As she powers down she sees him weaving towards her through the scrub brush. There is a spring in his step and her mouth twitches because it has felt so good to surrender for a while. I don’t have to frak it up, it already is frakked up.

Her life has always been a battle between her heart and her mind. Zack’s death is a testament to what happened when the two got muddled. Oh yes, she is capable of deep love, she has felt it, she feels it now, but as long as they are married to other people she is safe. Her love will never be put to the test. Maybe it is enough; Lee and Kara are together at the end of the world, despite everything they have been through. Maybe the gods are satisfied and she can stop resisting and let gravity keep her in his orbit.

She smiles in anticipation of being in his arms. Even if it’s only for a moment.

And now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

FIN

My horseshow

2007-06-11T02:35:44Z

Iceberg and I won 2 classes in first level and obtained a qualifying score for the regional championships in Oct. YAY!!

Keep Breathing

2007-05-21T01:38:20Z

Title: Keep Breathing
Summary: The grief he feels ripping him apart inside is not his to show on the outside.
Date: 5.20.2007
Rated: PG
Catagory: Ficlet
Characters: Lee and Kara
Spoilers: Season 3
Credit: The title comes from the Nickelback song "Far Away". If you know the lyrics you know what line comes next.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, RDM does and I am just borrowing them.

This is my first fanfic. I wrote it for purely selfish reason after "The Son Also Rises" aired but now that it is done, I decided to share. I hope it touches you the way it does me! Thank you to all my fabulous friends on Skiffy L& K shipper thread. I love you all! Special thanks to my twin spirit proggrrl for being my beta.- Comments are welcome!

Lee doesn’t remember flying back to Galactica after Kara’s life was extinguished in a ball of flames before his eyes. He doesn’t remember stumbling out of his viper and puking in the nearest trash bin. He doesn’t remember Chief’s hand on his shoulder or the stunned looks on the faces of anyone on the flight deck. He vaguely remembered the shower he took only because he had wandered under the flow of water while still in his flight suit, his hands shaking too much to get the zippers and clasps undone. He felt numb and the tears never came. Some of the crewmen in the head gawked but most turned away and they all eventually left him there alone. Was there a condolence for a CAG loosing one of his pilots? Is that what she was?

Dee hugged him when she returned from CIC at the end of her shift. It was a brief embrace and then she helped him into bed, picking his soaked flight suit off the floor without a word. His body was shaking, part of it was that the energy had drained from his body leaving him cold and faint and the other was the terror that he would loose control of his emotions in the arms of his wife over the loss of his lover. Is that what she was?

Sam arrived on Galactica and took up residence in the hanger bay as if Kara would saunter back in like she had done so many times before. Lee had seen it enough times to want to hope, but he could still see her ship explode like a Colonial Day firework. But Sam, he waited, his constant companion a bottle of booze. Sometimes the Chief or another knuckledragger patiently moved him out of the way of a docking viper or artillary loader. Cally sympathetically brought him food from the mess but later decided that hunger might eventually convince him to leave.

Everyone knows, all too well, the condolences that are appropriate, they have all lost someone since the cylon invasion, she was not the first and would not be the last. When Sam got too drunk and belligerent it’s Lee that they summoned to talk him down. His pain was right there, contorting on his face and Lee somehow kept himself together. He feels the strongest when Sam needs him to be, but he actually envied him the most in those moments. It was Sam’s place to be consumed with grief, not his. She was another man’s wife. Is that what she was?

In the following days, the silence around him was still heavy and when the occasional word or sound intruded into the fog surrounding him, he was startled. He was exhausted but sleep did not come often. When it did he drempt of their last conversation and he awakened drenched in sweat with the fireball before his eyes. He was haunted by his decision to put Kara back in her viper just as she had put Zak in his. The irony was not lost on him, it stareed him in the face and slammed him in the gut with every inhalation. Had he let his feelings cloud his judgement the way Kara had? She had not wanted to be the one that crushed his brother’s dream. Lee did not want to be the one that drove the steely-eyed viper jock over the edge and in the end the result was the same for Zak’s fiancee. Is that what she was?

More than once, he found himself outside the rec room during a rowdy game of triad. Hesitating for a moment, he strained to hear a particular voice rise above the others, celebrating a winning hand. He instinctively picked throught the voices in the room, desperate to hear her laughter one more time. The room would become deathly quiet and through the haze he would see the pilots blanky staring back at him. With a forced cough he would say “As you were.”

A flash of blond during a crowded shift change near CIC forced the air from his lungs. He felt sharp pain in his chest as his eyes squinted to recognize the face, hoping beyond reason that it is the one he longed to see again, but instead an ensign turned her head as she laughed with a tall petty officer.

Old habits were hard to break. In the ready room, while he briefed the pilots, he scanned for the familiar face- she must be late, hung over as usual. A part of his mind thought of something witty to reprimand her with when she came in tardy with a smartass comment. Another part of his mind remembered that she was gone, she would not be swaggering in, taunting and challenging him from her seat in the front row. He was lost in these converging thoughts when, suddenly, a wisecrack from a female voice the group laughing. His heart serged as a certain energy, generally associated with her, filled the room. As if on cue, he responded to the familiar pattern but it was Racetrack with the remark and not Starbuck the hot-shot-problem-pilot. Is that what she was?

He met with his father and he could hear the strain when he spoke. The model ship that the Admiral so delicately built was mangled on a shelf nearby- made and destroyed by his own hands. Her ship was in pieces and now so was his father’s. He mourned for the closest thing he had ever had to a daughter. He ordered Lee to work it out like he did when Zak died, as if he the emotions he had bottled up were for the loss of a sister. Is that what she was?

Being assigned to security for Dr. Baltar’s defense attorney provided a distraction, he was fascinated by Romo Lampkin.This stranger seemed to see right through him and said things to him even when he addressed someone else. Like everyone else, Romo did not give Lee permission to grieve but he at least acknowledged that it was there under the surface when no one else would look him in the eye and grant him that.

He had managed to find a way to keep her close, putting the photograph in his left pant pocket where he could occassionaly let his hand linger when he needed to draw strength. He had promised her that he would put her next to Kat in the memorial hall. She had asked him, not her husband, as if in the end she knew it would be him that would follow through.

They were unbeatable team of Starbuck and Apollo. Her out of the box thinking and his by the book execution had become legendary in the fleet. Even when, on a personal level, they disagreed or even hated the sight of one another, he knew she always had his back and her final request was for him to have hers. Surely, in time, he could honor the last request of his best friend. Is that what she was?

Lee walked from Baltar’s cell to his quarters after the vedict and found himself becoming numb again. The empty feeling that was his constant companion was even heavier now with the fact that Dee had left him, Lampkin went off to reap the benefits of his successful defense, his father virtually disowned him, and he himself had resigned from the military. So when Gaeta announced condition one throughout the ship, at first he failed to react. This was no longer his war.

Then, just like that, instinct and adrenaline kicked in and he knew his place was in his viper, wings or not, he had nothing left to lose. So many pilots dead and the fleet was recently missing the best pilot, the guardian of the fleet, Galactica’s top gun. Is that what she was?

Out in his ship he doesnt have to think and for the first time since Kara’s death his mind was clearer, the fog was lifting. His reflexes took over and although he was flying straight into the oncoming raiders he was strangely calm. It was easy out here in space, there was no time for feelings, nothing to hide or pretend. Black or white out there- kill or be killed. The world could go away because what matered right here and now was blowing cylons out of existence. Anger, guilt, fear, and pain could all be cathartically eased by the adrenaline rush of a fight for your life. Maybe this was why Kara was such a good pilot, everything behind the Starbuck mask could be expressed in the heat of a dogfight, pounding thruster petals, careening through space, and blasting away at the enemy.

A bogey popped up on his dradis and he didn’t think beyond calling it in over the com, he just reacted, rolling his viper out of formation toward the blip on the screen. But the unkown disappeared and then toyed with him, unlilke any cylon he had ever faced. He was caught off guard, when the nose of a ship came alongside his and he thought, for a moment, that he was hallucinating. The weeks of stuffing his grief deeper and deeper inside himself were coming back to haunt him, surely. The knot in his throat threatened to strangle him, but there, beside him, a few feet and two canopies away, was the face he had yearned to see and the voice in his ear that said his name was the one that he had longed to hear.

His own voice seemed to be stuck in his throat but he managed to get her name out from his frozen jaw. And then, there it was, the smile on her cheeks that lit up her eyes.The laughter that followed was music to hear and she was speaking but it wasn't words he heard. He concentrated on the sound because the pain in his heart was, suddenly, not the same one he had bourn for weeks. He lost everything that had ever meant anything to him and yet, here, in this moment at the end of the world, during a cylon attack of all times, he was given back the one thing that he now knows he does not ever want to live without. Now the pain he felt is the overwhelming knowledge that this beautiful vision was a gift, one he was not sure he deserves. Kara Thrace was alive and real and Lee Adama knows what she was and what she was. She was everything.

FIN

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'cause I needed
I need to hear you say:
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you for being away for far too long
So keep breathing, 'cause I am not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go
Nickelback